Love yourself first!

“To make you spiritually weak they have found a sure method, one hundred percent guaranteed, and that is to teach you not to love yourself. If a man cannot love himself he cannot love anybody else either. The teaching is very tricky. They say “Love others,” because they know if you cannot love yourself you cannot love at all. But they go on saying, “Love others, love humanity, love God, love nature, love your wife, your husband, your children, your parents, but don’t love yourself” – because to love oneself is selfish according to them.

They condemn self-love as they condemn nothing else – and they have made their teaching look very logical. They say: “If you love yourself you will become an egoist, if you love yourself you will become narcissistic.” It is not true. A man who loves himself finds that there is no ego in him. It is by loving others without loving yourself, trying to love others, that the ego arises.

“The missionaries, the social reformers, the social servants, have the greatest egos in the world – naturally, because they think themselves to be superior human beings. They are not ordinary: ordinary people love themselves; they love others, they love great ideals, they love God. And all their love is false, because all their love is without any roots. A man who loves himself takes the first step towards real love.”

Credits: Osho, The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol. 5, Talk #5


The Perfume

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of the school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers she looked at her students and said she loved them all the same. However that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in the seat was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy, and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each student past records and she put Teddy’s off until the last. However when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around.”

His second grade teacher wrote Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”

His third grade teacher wrote, “Teddy’s mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps are not taken.”

His fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.”

By now Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped beautifully in bright ribbons and paper, except for Teddy’s, whose present was clumsy and wrapped in heavy brown paper, the he would have got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents.

Some of the children started to laugh when she found the rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing and a bottle of perfume that was only one quarter full. But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed on after school that day just long to say, ” Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my mom used to.” After the children left, she cried for at long time

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and arithmetic. Instead she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in class. And, despite her lie that she loved all the children the same, Teddy became one of her “pets”.

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he had ever had in his life.

Six years went by before she got another letter from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in is whole life.

Four years after that she received another note saying that while things had been tough at times, he still stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate with the highest honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and most favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and most favourite teacher he ever had in his whole life. But now the name was little longer … the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end here. There was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said the he met this girl who was going to marry.

He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson would agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what, she wore that bracelet – the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she also remembered to wear the perfume that Teddy’s mother wore on the last Christmas they spent together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.”

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach till I met you.”

You could have a Teddy standing in front of you and yet not realize it.



If you have the ability to complain about something, you also have the ability to take the positive action that will make it better. And taking positive action is infinitely more effective than merely complaining.

If you have cause to get angry, then you also can turn the energy of that anger in a positive direction. You can then resolve the situation in a way that is peaceful and valuable for all concerned.

If you have reason to be frustrated, you also have the motivation necessary to get beyond whatever is frustrating you. Whether you work to eliminate the cause of your frustration or grow beyond it, no frustration ever has to continue troubling you.

If you have experienced disappointment, you also have learned a valuable lesson. Go forward, apply what you have learned, and transform your disappointment into a positive turning point.

If you have known loss and sadness, then you also have gained a profound understanding of how very precious life is. Take the opportunity, for which you’ve paid so dearly, to raise yourself to a whole new level of meaning and fulfillment.

If you face a difficult challenge, you also have the opportunity to grow stronger, more capable, wise, experienced and resilient. Embrace those opportunities, for in them you will find the sweet substance of life. — Ralph Marston

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Thank God. Thank Women. 

​Women are the most wonderful creation of God. And they were purposefully created to balance the masculine energy. Interestingly, they do not need anyone to depend on or to complete themselves. They are whole and complete naturally. It is the man who needs them. It is the man who is dependent on them. It is the man who requires women to complete them. Women are the divine blessings of God to men and the mankind. 

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​A point to ponder

Zhao Zi Hao’s made it big in business so he spent money buying a piece of land in the suburbs and built a three-storey villa. He had an impressive swimming pool in the garden with a hundred-year-old Lychee Tree in the backyard to boot. In fact, he bought the property precisely because of this tree. His wife loved eating lychees.
During renovations, his friends urged him to get guidance from a fengshui master, just to tread on the side of caution. Zhao Zi Hao’s never quite believed in Fengshui yet surprisingly he took the advice to heart and went out of his way to engage a feng shui master from Hong Kong. The Grand Master was non other than Master Cao who’s been in the profession for over thirty years, renowned in the Fengshui circle. They had a meal in the city then Zhao Zi Hao drove the Master to the suburbs. Along the way, when cars behind them tried to overtake, Zhao Zi Hao would simply give way.

The Master laughingly remarked: “Big Boss Zhao, your driving is really safe.” He spoke really fluent mandarin for a Hongkie.

Zhao Zhi Hao laughed at the remark: “Usually people who need to overtake have some urgent matter to attend to, so we shouldn’t hold them up.

Arriving at a small town the streets grew narrow and so Zhao Zi Hao slowed down.

A giggling child suddenly darted out from an alley and as the child ran across the street, Zao still didn’t speed up. Instead, he kept his gaze on the alley, as if waiting for something. Out of the blue, another child darted out, chasing after the child ahead.

Master Zao was surprised and asked: “How did you know there’d be another child following suit?”

Zhao Zi Hao shrugged: “Well, kids are always chasing after each other so it’s impossible for a child to be in such glee without a playmate.”

Master Cao gave him a big thumbs up and laughed out loud: “That’s really considerate of you!”

Arriving at the Villa, they got down from the car. Suddenly about seven to eight birds flocked from the backyard. Seeing so, Zhao said to Master Cao: “ If you don’t mind please wait here for a little while.”

“What’s the matter?” Master Cao was taken aback.

“Oh, there’s probably some kids stealing lychees in the backyard. If we walk in now we might give them a fright, let’s not risk anyone falling off the old Lychee Tree.” Zhao replied humorously. 

Master Cao stayed silent for a while before stating matter-of-factly: “This home doesn’t need a fengshui evaluation anymore.”

Now it’s Zhao’s turn to be shocked: “Why’s that?”

“Any place graced with your presence naturally becomes the property with the most auspicious fengshui.”

When our minds prioritize others’ peace and happiness, the one who benefits is not just others, but ourselves too. When a person is considerate of others at all times, then this person has unconsciously accomplished Buddhahood. The Buddha is in fact a person who through benefiting others becomes enlightened.

Courtesy: A Friend


Who is Your Fall Back?

People help you the way they know to help you. To help you to come out of stress, one friend will ask you to drink and another will ask you to meditate. 
To overcome hurt, one friend will ask you to take revenge and get even, and another will ask you to forgive and get ahead with your life. ‘Who is your fallback’ makes all the difference. 

Duryodhana’s predicament, in his own words, was, “I know what is right but I am not able to indulge in it. I know what is wrong but I am not able to avoid it.” He needed a fallback. His fallback was his uncle Shakuni, and resultantly, Duryodhana moved from bad to worse. 

Arjuna’s predicament was different. He was allowing his personal emotions to dominate his sense of duty, and hence wanted to escape from the responsibilities he had towards upholding righteousness. He needed a fallback. His fallback was Krishna, and resultantly, Arjuna was restored to his greatness. 

Humans we are, at some point or the other, we all need a fallback. ‘Who is your fallback’ makes all the difference.

Choose Well.

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Which Type Is Yours? 

There Are 4 Types of People According to Buddha – Which Type Is Yours?

The Buddha said: “I see four types of people in this world. The first type is running from darkness towards darkness. The second is running from brightness towards darkness. The third is running from darkness towards brightness. And the fourth is running from brightness towards brightness.”

1.From darkness to darkness: 

All around there is darkness, a life of darkness, a life of misery. One is suffering in different ways—physically, mentally, materially and because of problems in the family or society. There is no happiness at all. And yet, there is no trace of wisdom within. So every moment, this person is generating nothing but anger, hatred and ill will.:

“I am suffering because of this person, because of this incident, because of this cause.” One generates aversion towards that person or cause. This misery is the result of past karma of aversion, and now, one is planting more seeds of aversion. There is already so much darkness in one’s life and one is planting more seeds of darkness. These seeds of anger, hatred, ill will bring nothing but misery in the future. So the future will also be full of misery. The present is misery, the future is misery. The present is darkness, the future is darkness. So such a person is running from darkness to darkness.

2. From brightness towards darkness:

There is brightness all around in one’s life. There is happiness today because of material wealth, good health and prestige in society. But there is no wisdom within. So one becomes arrogant because of all this wealth, power and status and feels contempt for others. 

“These poor people are all useless. I am so smart; I have got so much money, position, power, status.”

Because of some good karma of the past, there is brightness all around. Sooner or later, this will come to an end. But every moment, one is planting seeds of egotism, seeds of aversion, seeds of misery, seeds of darkness. These seeds of negativity will result in darkness in the future, misery in the future. Thus this person is running from brightness towards darkness.

3. From darkness towards brightness: 

The third type of person is in exactly the same position as the one in the first group. There is hardship all around, darkness all around in the present but there is wisdom inside. One keeps on smiling.

“Oh, this hardship has come because of some past bad karma of mine. Somebody seems to be the apparent cause of my misery. Certainly, this person is not the real cause of my misery. This person has just become a vehicle. May he or she not have to suffer because of these misdeeds! This hardship was bound to come through this person or through some other person because of my own past karma. Now I will not plant new seeds of misery.”

So one generates only love and compassion towards such people. One is planting seeds of love, of compassion. Now there is darkness, but the future is full of brightness. Sooner or later this darkness will go and then there will be only brightness. One is planting seeds of brightness, which will bring brightness in the future, happiness in the future. 

4. From brightness towards brightness: 

At present, one’s life is filled with brightness, filled with happiness. One enjoys the happiness of material wealth, all worldly comforts, and prestige in society. But there is wisdom and one keeps on understanding:

“All this success is because of some good karma of the past. And whatever good kamma I might have done, they are not eternal, their fruit is not eternal, sooner or later it will come to an end. So, I must make best use of all this money, position, power, status that I have now for the good of others. As a householder, it is my duty to use my wealth for the maintenance of my family and those who depend on me. Whatever remains, I must use for the good of others, for the benefit of others. May more and more people get pure Dhamma! May more and more people develop wisdom! May more and more people be liberated from their suffering!”

So one generates love, compassion, and goodwill all the time. All actions—vocal, physical, and mental—are for the good of others. One plants seeds of brightness. From happiness one is running towards happiness; from brightness, one is running towards brightness. 

We should not be like the people in the first or the second group. We must be like the people in the third or the fourth group. Whether third or fourth, this is not in our control. Sometimes, life may be full of darkness, full of suffering because of the past karma. At other times, life may be full of brightness because of the past karma. There is happiness or unhappiness in life because of the results of past good and bad karma. Irrespective of whether there is happiness or sorrow, brightness or darkness, we will develop brightness within. We will not make any new saṅkhāras that will produce suffering in the future, darkness in the future. This is what we learn from Vipassana.

The Buddha said: 

Attā hi attano nātho, attā hi attano gati.

One is one’s own master; 

One is the master of one’s own future. 

The present is nothing but the child of the past. Whatever you have done in the past is done. But you are the master of the present. Try not to generate a single saṅkhāra that will bring misery for you.

Courtesy : Mr. Prashant Jha